Everything we Had
by contagiouschemi
Summary: She picked up the letter that was lying on the table beside his lifeless body. It was addressed to her in his messy scrawl. based on the song Everthing we Had by The Academy Is... One-shot.


**Everything we Had**

She picked up the letter that was lying on the table beside his lifeless body. It was addressed to her in his messy scrawl. She was in no doubt it was to her anyway; in his last moments he had told her about it and told her not to read it until he was completely gone. He didn't want to see her cry even more, even though nothing could stop the constant stream of tears, especially when he told her he loved her. She slid her finger in the envelope and opened it. She missed him already. He had been gone only a short while. She was alone with his dead body for the first time. She wanted to read the letter, but she couldn't bear to cry anymore. She breathed and opened up the letter. A gold ring fell out. She picked it up and fiddled with it. It confused her, she had never seen the ring before, so why would he leave it with her? She looked at the body of her fiancée before finally committing herself to reading what he had written.

_My dearest Mitchie,_

_I am so sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner. I guess I just didn't believe it myself and thought that if id dint tell you, it wouldn't exist. It does though, and if you're reading this, then it's killed me off. I wasn't expecting to die like this, as sick as it sounds, I always wanted a glamorous death. It's probably just my secret craving of attention shining though. I always thought I would die of something to do with the hazards of being famous, like a drugs overdose. And no, before you worry, I didn't want to try drugs, you know me better than that, you know what I mean though, right?_

She did, she always did. She had an amazing ability of understanding him, unlike everyone else on the planet.

_I never thought I'd die of cancer. Oh well, life's a bitch. I guess one of us was going to have to die first. I just wish it wasn't so soon. We had our whole lives ahead of us. At least I didn't have to face the thing that scared me the most: living without you. I know that you're now going to have to live without me, that's a scary thought. You'll bounce back from it better than I ever would. You had a period in your life when you were without me, actually seventeen years to be exact. I didn't, well, the new and improved me didn't. If you had died before me, I would probably have turned back into a jerk. I know I've had my jerk moments over the years, and for that I'm sorry, it's just who I am, or was. Wow, that is such a weird feeling, talking about myself in the past tense. I know you miss me, but please don't waste your time on me; you did too much of that when I was alive. I know you love me more than you could any other man, but please don't stay a spinster all your life. I know that technically you aren't a spinster because you've been with me for so long, and you are engaged to me, but please don't let that be all you ever become on the relationships field. I don't like thinking of you with other men, but it's not like I can see. Well, I don't know, I've never been dead before. Don't do anything stupid either. I know you don't cope well with grief, but please don't start a journey of self destruction. I'm begging here. I know sometimes it won't feel like it, but I will always be with you. I love you too much to let you go. I'm selfish like that. You may feel awful and wretched, not being able to see me every day, but I know you'll be able to do it. You did it when I was on tour. Granted, I called you every day, but I know that isn't the same as being in my presence. Believe it or not, that sentence wasn't meant to sound like my ego was talking. Please don't do something stupid to numb the awful feeling of me no longer being there. Just take it, and cry, even though I hate to see you cry. It's even worse when I'm the one that's caused it, and I know when you get home that you're going to look at all of our pictures and burst into floods, but do me a favour and get a tissue. When you use your sleeve it just creates more work for yourself._

_I love you. I love you. I love you. You, my dear, are so very beautiful. The sun shines out of your every crevice. I should know, I've seen almost all of them. Sorry, that was crude. I know you're laughing through your tears now. I never thought all those years ago that going back to camp would lead me to finding an amazing person. Which you truly are my love. You sing like an angel, look like one too. Hell, you even have me taking like a real gentleman. I know I'm the luckiest man to ever walk the earth. I had you, even though it was a short time compared to the time I could have had with you, but when life gives you lemons. Even when you're reading this, with your tear-stained face and your hair that's probably greasy and messy because you wouldn't leave my side, I'm sure you still look stunning. I don't think you've ever looked any less, even when you're angry. Actually, you look very cute when you're angry. When you're angry at me, it's even better, you look very sexy._

_Just know that I will always be watching you. God that sounded like a stalker. What I mean is, just remember that I will always be with you. And if you ever feel so low that you need to talk to me, just look inside yourself, I'm there. After all, you'll never get rid of me; I am your personal boomerang. I love you, and I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I love you. God, how many times have I said that? Oh, and remember to breathe._

_I love you!_

_Love,_

_Shane xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_P.S. The ring is the one I had picked out for our wedding. I wish I'd been able to put it on your finger. I bought it at the same time I got your engagement ring; I knew you would say yes. I have a chain for it on hold at _Tiffany's _already paid for. I know you'll wear it on your ring finger for a while though. And if you look closely, there's an inscription._

_P.P.S. I always love being called Pop star. You were right._

She couldn't help but smile. Even when he was dying he was humorous. The tears were pouring down her face. She missed him. She looked at him. The tears fell faster. What did he do to deserve that? What did she do to lose someone so incredible? She leaned over him and pressed her lips to his cold ones. On last kiss. _Everything we had_, she thought, _is no longer there_.

**AN: so I thought of this whilst listening to the song **_**Everything We Had**_** by **_**The Academy Is...**_** Such a sad song. Sad story too, I was crying writing it. R&R**


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